Mullis: Being busy – sin or a skill set?

Both my daughters are quick to take on projects, which has resulted in some exhausting schedules. Routinely, I counsel them to turn things down, but my advice is the only thing they routinely turn down.

Recently my youngest – the one taking extra high school classes, the one on two fall sports teams, the one in the marching band – agreed to be the fifth runner for the cross-country team in league meets. That first week was crazy. All I could do was shake my head as she overslept her alarm, lugged several bags to school, and ate cereal out of a bag instead of a bowl.

That same week, my oldest – the one taking more than a full load of college classes, the one working several piano jobs, the one playing in several concerts – called in tears. She wasn’t feeling well and a new roommate was about to arrive in a room she had no time to clean. All I could do was shake my head and tell her to slow down.

I was worried about them being too busy, which I mentioned to a friend before a meeting. This wasn’t easy to do as I could hear my silenced cell phone buzzing in my laptop bag, which made me wonder who it might be, what they might want, and if what they wanted could be accomplished before my next meeting.

My friend looked me in the distracted eye and said, “They just take after you.”

What? That’s not true.

I’m a freelance writer and a mom. Taking on jobs while taking care of people may fill my schedule, but I’m not “busy.” Sure, I eat in my car but only on the days I can’t eat over my desk. And, yeah, I lug my laptop everywhere, but only because I never know when I might have some downtime to rough out another project. Working on deadline and putting out fires is the nature of the business, but that doesn’t mean I’m too busy to help.

In fact, when my oldest called, I offered to drive two hours to her dorm and help clean out her room, even though it was logistically impossible….Holy stress-heads! Did I teach my daughters to be sleep-deprived nutcases?

The idea haunted me as I worked well past dinner. I went to bed still making to-do lists in my head – not a good sign. The next morning my husband got up with the breakfast-before-dawn animals, telling me to sleep in, but I couldn’t. As soon as I was conscious, my to-do lists resumed, complicated by the guilt of being a poor role model.

I decided to do something healthy, something I could first-person reference to my daughters. I was going to eat breakfast at the table. I was going to walk the dog, look at the colors, and meditate before work. No phone, no mental lists of tasks, no pencil behind my ear or laptop on my back. I was going to breathe deep.

It felt good.

I came home recharged and took on my first to-do, pleased to finish with 30 minutes to spare. I didn’t open my laptop, but a novel. I was going to use my downtime to…check my calendar and freak out because my meeting wasn’t in 30 minutes, but ten.

Off I dashed, only slightly mortified that this felt more normal than breathing deep in the woods. The truth is I enjoy my work. I wonder if my daughters feel the same way. I wonder if being busy isn’t a sin but a skill set.

Maybe next time I see my daughters eating cereal out of a bag, I won’t shake my head, but offer them milk in a to-go cup. And when the load gets too heavy, I can personally recommend breathing deep. 

Nicole L.V. Mullis will sign copies of “A Teacher Named Faith” at Battle Creek Books on Oct. 20. See www.NicoleLVMullis.com for details.