Mullis: Proposing a wedding shower do-over

I had been making the bed, pulling the sheet tight, when it shredded, revealing the white mattress cover.

Sigh.

This took the number of bedsheets that fit our bed down to one set. I use the term “set” loosely. The pillowcases came from one set, the flat sheet from another, you get the idea.

We can afford new sheets, I just don’t think proactively about replacing my sheets ... or anything, really.

I shop the way I live – with a sense of urgency because someone is expecting me somewhere to do something I hope to remember when I get there.

Most days, I don't have time to make the bed.

I added “bedsheets” to my grocery list. This is the benefit of shopping at Meijer. You can get new sheets and a dozen eggs without going anywhere else. In fact, the sheets are on the way to the dairy section. If I’m lucky, something will be sitting on an endcap. The color doesn’t matter.

That’s one of the perks of shopping with a sense of urgency – there is no color scheme to violate.

Now that I had bedsheets on my mind, I realized there were other household items that needed replacing or updating – bath towels, kitchen towels, silverware, shower curtains, pots, pans, plates, wastepaper baskets, laundry baskets.

I started to chuckle. It sounded like the list for a wedding shower registry.

My husband and I were too young to do a decent job registering for housewares 21 years ago. We went to Target and zapped until we decided to get a burger, which was 30 minutes into the whole deal.

We were extremely budget-conscious, which meant we registered for things that were on sale and therefore not available when it came time for people to buy these items. When we realized our mistake, we didn't correct it.

This is why I received a lot of candleholders, crystal bowls and picture frames.

Even if my husband and I had done a good job zapping stuff, producing a perfectly coordinated home, we've been married 20 years. These things don’t last, which means I would have replaced them one-by-one anyway.

It would be nice to have another wedding shower.

Why do we have wedding showers before people get married? Most engaged couples either don’t know what they’re doing with their registries or over-do on their registries. And, sadly, most marriages don’t last as long as a set of bath towels. Marriage is hard. Ask anyone whose been doing it for more than two months.

Why not have milestone showers instead? For every 10 years you stick together, taking the “for worse” with the “for better,” you get a set of housewares … and a cake.

Everyone deserves to eat cake.

I bet former brides would be easier to please than brides-to-be would be. People who have never set up house tend to be picky. Isn’t that why we have wedding registries – so people don’t mess it up?

Experience begets practicality. Forget wine glasses and salad forks, my milestone registry would include a good rake and a snow shovel. And superglue. There can never be enough superglue.

People who have lived in their houses with their spouses, and any dependents such unions produce, are just happy to have something new.

And if the bedsheets match, that’s a bonus.

Nicole L.V. Mullis is the author of “A Teacher Named Faith." You can reach her atnlvm.columns@gmail.com or www.NicoleLVMullis.com.