John Grap column: Bringing my mom closer to home

Have you ever received a wake-up call? Or, two? Or three?

On my way to a work assignment, the morning of Dec. 8, the call came.

"Hello, John, your mother has fallen," came the words over the phone. "What do you want us to do?"

My mom, Charlotte Grap, has lived alone since my dad died in 2000. She's lived in Peoria, Ill., since 1970. It's not like Peoria is on the edge of the universe, but it is about a five-hour drive from here.

My wife, Linda, and I hastily wrapped up loose ends and dashed off to Peoria, while Mom was taken by ambulance to St. Francis Medical Center. She was diagnosed with a broken pelvis.

Mom wasn't quite sure what had happened to her and why she was in the hospital. She didn't need surgery and the only thing her doctor said she needed was physical therapy.

On the morning of day four we walked into her room and she immediately hid under her covers. It was like we were complete strangers, or as if she was a frightened wild animal. Many of you reading this will recognize this as a sign of dementia. She had been diagnosed with senile dementia in 2012.

I will long remember my wife and I eating an orange in front her and watching her as she very carefully followed all of our movements. When we offered her a slice she shrunk away.

It took almost three hours for her to recognize us and know that we weren't going to hurt her.

After a five-day hospital stay and seven weeks in a Peoria nursing home, Lutheran Hillside Village, we moved her to Battle Creek last week. In both places she received excellent care.

While Linda and several dear friends readied her new apartment at Bickford Cottage assisted living on Capital Avenue Southwest, Mom and I hit the road.

"Where are we going?" "Who lives in Battle Creek?" were just two of the questions that I tried, unsuccessfully to answer for her. At least a dozen times.

We celebrated her 90th birthday on Saturday but I'm not sure how much of a celebration it was for her. She has lived longer than anyone in her family and she doesn't understand why.

Have you ever had someone you love asked you why they're are still alive? And then asked you again?

She's a dear, sweet woman and she's my mom. And, it's an honor, and a privilege to care for her.

Every time I visit with her I'm getting a wake-up call. I wouldn't have it any other way.

John Grap can be reached at 269-966-0598. Follow him on Twitter @johngrap.